[Intro:]
I own a mansion, but live in a house
A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch
I'm Mr. Brightside, glass is half-full
But my tank's half empty, gasket just blew
[Verse 1:]
This always happens
30 minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin, only option I have's McDonalds's bathroom
In a public stall dropping a football, so every time someone walks in the john I get maddene
"Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crappin'
And you're asking me for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?
Oh that's odd, I just happened
To run out of tissue, yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then
"Thanks dawg, name's Todd, a big fan"
I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and
Told him "Todd, you're the shit"; when's all of this crap end?
Can't pump my gas without causing an accident
Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the fucking trash
Without someone passing through my sub harassing
I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math
I'd rather wallow than bask suffering succotash, but the ant-
Acid, it gives my stomach gas
When I mix my corn with my fucking mashed
Potatoes, so what, ho kiss my country bumpkin ass
Missouri Southern roots, what the fuck is upper class
Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper,
Tupperware in the cupboard, plastic ware up the ass
Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that
B-Boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass
[Hook:]
Maybe that's why I feel so strange
Got it all, but I still won't change
Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
It's the motivation that keeps me going
This is the inspiration I need
I can never turn my back on a city that made me and
(Life's been good to me so far)
[Verse 2:]
They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that, don't know what the fuck I would doing if it weren't rap
Probably be a giant turd sack
But I blew, never turned back
Turned 40 and still sag, teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack
Fuck you gonna say to me? I leave on my own terms ass-
Hole, I'm going berzerk, my nerves are bad
But I love the perks my work has
I get to meet famous people, look at her dag
Her nylons are ran, her skirt's snagged, and I heard she drag-races, *burp* swag
Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag
You're Danica Patrick (yeah) word, skag
We'd be the perfect match, cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag
My apologies, no disrespect to technology, but what the heck is all of these buttons, you expect me to sit here and learn that?
Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda, be an expert at
Computers? I'd rather be an Encyclopedia Britannica, Hell with
Playstation, I'm still on my first man on some Zelda
Nintendo, bitch! Run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the
Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread, make a sandwich with Welch's
And belch
They say this spray butter is bad for my health but
I think this poor white trash from the trailer
Jed Clampett, Fred Sanford and welfare mentality helps ta
Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I
Managed to dwell within these parameters, still crammin' the shelves full of Hamburger Helper
I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt a
Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter
With all these pet peeves, goddammit to hell, I
Can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones
I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I could yell the
Other day someone got all elaborate and stuck a head from a fucking dead cat in my mailbox
Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings
I think my karma is catching up with me
[Hook]
[Bridge:]
Got friends on Facebook, all over the world
Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good
So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque
I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked
[Verse 3:]
I'm trying to be low-key, hopefully nobody notices me
In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed
Ogre style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle by the frozen yogurt this guy approached me
Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Hova, show's over,
I'm hiding in Kroger buying groceries
He just had front row seats, told me to sign this poster, then insults me
"Wow, up close didn't know you had crow's feet"
I'm at a crossroad, lost, still shopping at Costco's
Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles
Got caught picking my nose (agh!), look over see these two hot hoes
Finger still up one of my nostrils
Right next to 'em stuck at the light, the fucking shit's
Taking forever to change, it's stuck, these bitches are loving it
Rubbing it in, chuckling
Couldn't do nothing, play it off
"What you bumping? "Trunk Muzik, Yelawolf's better," fucking bitch
They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it
The pressure, they want me to follow up with a-
Nother one after Recovery was so highly coveted
But what good is a fucking recovery if I fumble it?
Cause I'mma drop the ball if I don't get a grip
Hopping out shrubbery on you sons of bitches
Wrong subdivision
To fuck with, bitch, quit snappin' fucking pictures of my kids, I love my city
But you pushed me to the limit, what a pity
The shit I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out
Kool Aid stain on the couch, I'd never get it out
Bitch, I got an elevator in my house, ants and a mouse
I'm living the dream
[Hook]
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