Bobby Darin, Johnny Mercer - Bob White

[Bobby:]
Just listen to the Bob White
He never could sing right.

[Johnny:]
You should hip him to the latest sound
And the talk that's goin' 'round.

[Bobby:]
Well, I was talkin' to the parakeet
And he said, "Man, how about that beat?"

[Johnny:]
How about that beat?

[Bobby:]
Hey, Bob White
Ain't ya gonna swing tonight?

[Johnny:]
Several people heard the albatross

[Bobby:]
Yes.

[Johnny:]
Whisper Robert is on the sauce

[Bobby:]
I know for a fact he's on the wagon.

[Johnny:]
Bob White
Nothing but a neophyte.

[Bobby:]
John, what does that word mean?

[Johnny:]
Amateur!

[Bobby:]
Even the pheasant
Found it unpleasant
Hearin' you hit that flat note.

[Johnny:]
Whereas the sparrow
Froze to his marrow
When he heard that note.

[Bobby:]
The opinion of the tufted grouse
Is you'll play to an empty house.

[Johnny:]
Could happen to anybody!

[Bobby:]
Sure could.

[Both:]
Get up off that pad
Shape up make it, Dad
Bob White
You gotta sing it out tonight.

[Johnny:]
Take a letter to the meadow lark
In reply to his rude remark

[Bobby:]
Well, the mails must go through.

[Johnny:]
Bob White
Invites you to a bash tonight.

[Bobby:]
My tux isn't even pressed!

Take a wire to the nightingale
Tell him Bob ain't begun to wail
Bob White's
Gonna put him down for spite.

[Johnny:]
Circulate the word!

Call up the catbird
Tell that old fat bird
He's gonna sing a storm up.

[Bobby:]
Hip the canary
It'll be scary
After the warm up.

[Johnny:]
Man, he's even gonna gas the goose
He'll be looser than Dr. Seuss

[Bobby:]
Wait a minute, John, do I detect a note of meaning that he's gonna be right in tune?

[Johnny:]
Man, I'm tellin' ya... he's gonna be on the moon!

[Bobby:]
I see.

[Both:]
Bob White
He's gonna ball it up tonight.

[Johnny:]
Oh, he's in there.

[Bobby:]
Ah, he whistles pretty.

[Johnny:]
Yeah, like a bird!

[Bobby:]
What?!

[Johnny:]
Hear the wire from the albatross

[Bobby:]
Sounds urgent!

[Johnny:]
It reads Robert is still the boss

[Bobby:]
Well, thank you very much, folks.

[Johnny:]
Bob White
He was in the grove tonight.

[Bobby:]
I quote directly from the whoopin' crane
He says, "Man it was like insane."

[Johnny:]
He made it plain

[Bobby:]
Bob White
Reelin' for a groovy fight
I thought I had him dead in the third round.

[Johnny:]
Hey, old papa redbird
Who is the head bird
Says you were in there swingin'

[Bobby:]
He was tryin'.

Even a jackdaw
Flew out the back door
Buckin' and wingin'.

[Johnny:]
You instigated such a swingin' gig
That all them quadrupeds wanna dig.

[Bobby:]
Here, here, you mean...

[Johnny:]
Here come the moose and elk!

[Bobby:]
There goes Lawrence Welk!

[Both:]
Bob White! Bob White! Bob White!
You really sang it out tonight!

[Bobby:]
Ah, it's for the birds.